Prince Harry opened up about his struggles with mental health following the death of his mother, Princess Diana, wife Meghan Markle’s suicidal thoughts and more in the new AppleTV+ documentary The Me You Can’t See.
“If you’ve been through something, that doesn’t mean that your kids or everybody else has to go through the same thing you’ve been through,” the former senior royal, 36, explained in the documentary, which released on Friday, May 21, about bettering himself for his kids. “I know it’s my responsibility and my duty to break that cycle.”
Harry said he started therapy in 2017. Although that seems relatively recent, the U.K. native said it’s been quite an intense process.
“Four years of therapy for an individual that never thought that they would ever need or do therapy is … that’s a lot,” he explained. “That’s a long time, I wasn’t in an environment where it was encouraged to talk about it either. And that was sort of like squashed.”
The mental health advocate added he sought out therapy to “heal” himself “from the past.” Harry’s mother tragically died on August 31, 1997, after being involved in a car accident in Paris, France. She was 36.
“When my mom was taken away from me at the age of 12, just before my 13th birthday, I didn’t want the life — sharing the grief of my mother’s death with the world,” he recalled, while noting he was still in “shock” from the ordeal.
He continued, “It was like I was outside of my body, and just walking along doing what was expected of me. Showing 1/10 of the emotion that everybody else was showing. This was my mom! You never even met her!”
Harry held on to that trauma into adulthood. He recounted how he began suffering from “panic attacks” and “severe anxiety,” calling ages 28 to 32 “a nightmare time” in his life.
“Freaking out every single time I jumped in the car and every single time I see a camera,” he confessed.
The soon-to-be father of two said his “late 20s” were when he began to have thoughts like, “Should I really be here?” in regard to his royal lifestyle. However, “family members” advised him to “play the game” for an “easier” life.
“But I’ve got a hell of a lot of my mom in me. I feel as though I’m outside of the system, but I’m still stuck there,” Harry said. “The only way to free yourself and break out is to tell the truth.”
Harry married Meghan, 39, in May 2018, and they welcomed son Archie one year later. The Horrible Bosses actress is currently pregnant with baby No. 2, a girl, who is due this summer.
Keep scrolling to see the biggest revelations from The Me You Can’t See.
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).