Being amidst the mountains or that pristine sandy beach holding the hand of your partner you do get the drive to make love then and there…but do you do it???
How often on the bed, you wish to try that new position that you heard your mates talking about but don’t get the courage to put it up to your partner? Or you wish to add that extra kink that you have been cherishing for years to spice up your game in the bed but end up keeping it to yourself coz…
What If…on a beach or mountain, someone catches us???
What If…my partner might think that I have become a sex maniac to try such new positions or such kinky stuff???
These “WhatIfs” in our thoughts always pulls us back from fulfilling those naughty desires; just like the saying “Char log kya kahenge!!” does to your dreams.
No matter what’s your gender is…one must have those hidden physical desires that they wish to explore and fulfill. As they say without desires or fantasies a life gets boring; and the same implies to the sex life of a person.
We have often heard that in a relationship, sex is mostly confined to the pleasure and satisfaction of the male gender and have been listening to females talk about their vags being ignored or just being used. According to a study, about 80 percent of the females fake their orgasm during vaginal intercourse at least half of the time. But have we ever thought why? Why they are not able to say it loud and demand it?
In words of Jigyasa, a social worker, “We have been brought up in a world where talking or speaking about our desires and fantasies were refrained. But that has mostly left me unsatisfied. But then, I took it in my hands went vocal about what I want and to my utter surprise my partner loved the idea and we both got what we wanted….A life full of PLEASURES!!”
She further said, “Afterwards I realized that I was unnecessarily holding myself back just by the fear of being judged or creating turbulence in my life. But talking about it or at least sharing about it helped me achieve it.”
Love making or sex is an activity that is meant to be pleasurable not just the mechanical task of ejaculating. And to make it worth it, it is important that both the partners get the optimum pleasure out of it.
If we look up back in time, the ultimate lovemaking guide “Kamasutra” also has the mentions techniques that are meant for both men and women. Be it the types of kisses or the sex positions, the male and female have been noted to be given equal rights. Pleasure is something that is for all and everyone has the right to it then why refrain oneself from seeking it.
Apoorv, a writer, says, “I have learned with time that it’s important to talk it out with your partner because with that we both get to know what the other person wants or get pleasured of. Communicating the desires was a little tough for me in the beginning as the fear of being judged or offending my partner was holding me back, but I realized that by not doing so I am making it all weigh less than what it is meant to be both physically and mentally. So now, I say it and so does my partner and we have found several ways with mutual consent that helps us to ignite the passion in us and keep the spark alive.”
At times it happens that we wish to do something, try to go beyond the set line of bed and explore it a little more with our partner but often end up getting the monotonous. And then end up being displeased which can affect a relationship in long run.
Keeping in mind that communication is the key to everything, it is important to talk about ‘THE THINGS’ with your partner and listen to them. By doing so, both of you will get numerous ways to have a flaming session every time you do it. By knowing about each other’s desires and fantasies and likes and dislikes one often gets the ways to surprise their partner.
So, it’s time to say out loud what your heart truly desires and see what this will lead you both to…may be the steaming session on a lovely rainy evening or the amazing breakfast on bed sex…or maybe a romantic wine and music sex or you might end up trying the tantra sex to make the feeling divine. All what you have to do is to just “ TALK IT OUT”!!
Words: Kartikeya Shukla
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