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Feeling Poor In Love ?

by J S Sekhon

Feeling "poor in love" can be a deeply personal and complex experience, and there may be various factors contributing to this perception. It's important to approach this question with self-compassion and understanding. While I can't provide specific insights into your individual circumstances, here are a few possible factors to consider:

  1. Limited Self-Awareness: Sometimes, people may struggle with understanding their own emotional needs, desires, and boundaries in relationships. This lack of self-awareness can make it challenging to navigate romantic connections and find fulfilling partnerships.

  2. Fear or Insecurity: Fear of rejection, vulnerability, or intimacy can hinder one's ability to fully engage in romantic relationships. These fears can manifest as a reluctance to take risks, difficulty in expressing emotions, or a tendency to self-sabotage potential connections.

  3. Unresolved Past Experiences: Previous negative experiences, such as heartbreak or trauma, can impact one's ability to trust, open up, and form healthy attachments in future relationships. Unresolved emotional baggage may contribute to feeling "poor in love."

  4. Unhealthy Relationship Patterns: People may unknowingly engage in repetitive patterns that lead to unsatisfying or toxic relationships. Recognizing and breaking these patterns can be crucial for cultivating healthier and more fulfilling connections.

  5. External Factors: Cultural or societal expectations, geographic location, or other external circumstances can affect the opportunities for meeting potential partners and influencing the dating pool. These factors may contribute to feeling a lack of romantic success.

It's essential to remember that feelings of being "poor in love" are not permanent or definitive. Taking proactive steps to cultivate self-love, self-improvement, and personal growth can positively impact your experiences in love. This might include exploring therapy or counseling, practicing self-reflection and self-care, engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and developing healthy communication and relationship skills.

Building healthy and meaningful connections requires time, effort, and sometimes a bit of vulnerability. It's important to approach relationships with patience, self-compassion, and an openness to growth and learning. Remember that your worth and value as an individual are not defined solely by your romantic experiences, and that love and fulfillment can be found in various aspects of life beyond romantic relationships.

Why You're Not Feeling Loved & What To Do About It

  • We all want to feel loved. So when you don't feel loved by your partner or simply find yourself needing more love in your life or in your relationship than you're getting, it can feel very lonely, empty, and maybe even hurtful. But the reason you're needing love right now is not what you think.

Why you don't feel loved.

  • The secret to feeling loved by your partner or by others in the world is surprisingly simple: Love yourself, first.
  • Don't roll your eyes. The truth is, when you don't feel enough love on the inside—when you don't feel good enough, lovable enough, smart enough, anything enough—your default is to move into trying to get someone else to make you feel this way. You figure, "If they love me, then I'll feel loved."
  • Unfortunately, it doesn't work this way. Trying to secure love on the outside causes us to chase after people and demand their love. But this just leaves us, well, chasing. It will never get you the love you want. (Take a moment to think about it: How many times has chasing after love worked for you? My point, exactly.)
  • That's because the secret to feeling loved by someone else is loving yourself. When you love yourself first, then everything else will fall into place.

The problem with needing love.

  • First of all, it's important to know that unconditional love means giving love freely, without expectations. If you feel like you're constantly needing love, attention, approval, and validation from your partner, that's emotional dependency—not love.
  • This isn't to say we have to put up with a partner who's cold and has no empathy, and we all deserve to be treated lovingly. The point is that how we feel about ourselves should not be based on the treatment of our partners.
  • What we experience from others is a reflection of what we experience inside ourselves. If you feel desperate for another person's love, it's a sign that you're desperately in need of loving yourself. There's a hole you're trying to fill, but the reality is it can only be filled by you. As you fill this need within—as you love yourself more and more—then you'll feel more love from others, too.
  • Self-love is everything from how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake, to giving yourself enough time to sleep, to eating foods that make you feel nourished rather than deprived. Self-love is the simple but profound act of treating yourself the way you'd treat someone else you care about deeply.

How to feel loved.

  • Our internal experience is mirrored back to us in our relationships; therefore, the best thing you can always do is find love within. When in doubt, love yourself.
  • Now, loving yourself is a process. It's not like you do it once, check it off the list, and you're good to go. It's a lifestyle.
  • If you want to change your body, you have to change your diet and exercise routine. Same thing if you want to change your heart: You commit to a plan, and you go for it. That can include many things:
    • Being in contact with people who lift you up
    • Changing your inner dialogue to nicer, kinder words
    • Working with a therapist or coach who can help you understand your insecurities.
    • Reading books about self-love and empowerment

I know you want to feel completely cherished and loved in relationships. But the truth is, you cannot control how other people will feel about you. When you depend on others for feeling loved, you're going to spend a lot of time chasing—and all the while feeling even worse about yourself. But when you're your own source of feeling loved, you no longer need love from others. And the wonderful bonus? People are much more drawn to people who are happy, confident, and sitting in their worth.

When it comes to feeling more loved, the change starts within you. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others, and the rest will fall right into place.

Lets Redefine Love - Beautiful Quotes That Shall Reignite Love

  • "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything." –Katharine Hepburn
  • "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." — 1 Corinthians 13
  • "The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love." — Henry Miller
  • "Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." — Zora Neale Hurston
  • "Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much a heart can hold." – Zelda Fitzgerald
  • "I am grateful that you were born, that your love is mine, and our two lives are woven and welded together." — Mark Twain
  • "Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." — Maya Angelou
  • "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." — Oprah Winfrey
  • "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever." — Alfred Tennyson
  • "The giving of love is an education in itself." — Eleanor Roosevelt
  • "We are most alive when we are in love." — John Updike
  • "Love does not dominate; it cultivates." — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
  • "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." — Aristotle
  • "We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it LOVE." — Dr. Seuss
  • "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you." — A. A. Milne
  • "I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything." — F. Scott Fitzgerald
  • "I wish you to know that you have been the last dream of my soul." — Charles Dickens
  • "It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight." — Vladimir Nabokov
  • "Who being loved, is poor?" — Oscar Wilde
  • "I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you." — Roy Croft
  • "If I know what love is, it is because of you." — Hermann Hesse
  • "The regret of my life is that I have not said 'I love you' often enough." — Yoko Ono
  • "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Seuss
  • "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." — Paulo Coelho
  • "You will never age for me, nor fade, nor die." — Shakespeare in Love
  • "True love is putting someone else before yourself." — Frozen
  • "The love we give away is the only love we keep." — Elbert Hubbard
  • "Love understands love; it needs no talk." — Frances Havergal
  • "You make me want to be a better man." — Melvin Udall
  • "I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more." — Angelita Lim
  • "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." — Robert A. Heinlein
  • "Two are better than one." — Ecclesiastes 4:9
  • "Love is not love until love’s vulnerable." – Theodore Roethke
  • "Loving you never was an option. It was a necessity." — Truth Devour
  • "The art of love is largely the art of persistence." — Albert Ellis
  • "Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself." — Andre Breton
  • "We are shaped and fashioned by what we love." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  • "You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Seuss
  • "If the path be beautiful, let us not question where it leads." — Anatole France
  • "There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to make you feel my love." — Adele
  • "You are the best thing that’s ever been mine." — Taylor Swift, "Mine"
  • "I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." — The Notebook
  • "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while." — The Princess Bride
  • "I have not slept for fear I would wake to find all this a dream." — Ever After
  • "I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes." — Unknown
  • ​​"You are so beautiful it hurts." — Pearl Harbor
  • "Mature love has a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds." — Boyd K. Packer
  • "A true love story never ends." — Author Unknown
  • "Life is the flower for which love is the honey." — Victor Hugo
  • "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." — David Viscott
  • "Love isn’t something you find. Love is something that finds you." — Loretta Young
  • "You are my heart, my life, my one and only thought." — Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  • "Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around." — Bob Marley
  • "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life." — Leo Buscaglia
  • "Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality." — Emily Dickinson
  • "What is love? It is the morning and the evening star." — Sinclair Lewis
  • "Love’s gift cannot be given, it waits to be accepted." — Rabindranath Tagore
  • "Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop." — H. L. Mencken
  • "We are shaped and fashioned by those we love." — Goethe
  • "Tell me who you love and I’ll tell you who you are." — Creole Proverb
  • "There is no remedy for love but to love more." — Henry David Thoreau
  • "The best proof of love is trust." — Joyce Brothers
  • "Love is a friendship set to music." — Joseph Campbell
  • "I like you very much. Just as you are." — Bridget Jones’ Diary
  • "I love you more than my own skin." — Frida Kahlo
  • "From the moment I saw her I knew this one was worth the broken heart." ― Atticus
  • "A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love." — Max Muller
  • "Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own." — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
  • "Love’s greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred." — Barbara de Angelis
  • "You can’t blame gravity for falling in love." — Albert Einstein
  • "We are born of love; Love is our mother." — Rumi
  • "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." — H. Jackson Brown Jr.
  • "A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea." — Honore de Balzac
  • "I love you right up to the moon—and back." — Sam McBratney, Guess How Much I Love You
  • "I do know some things. I know I love you. I know you love me." — Game of Thrones
  • "So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
  • "You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me." — Brad Paisley, "The World"
  • "I could start a fire with what I feel for you." — Unknown
  • "You give me the kind of feelings people write novels about." — Unknown
  • "I look at you and see the rest of my life in front of my eyes." — Unknown
  • "Dreaming of you keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive." – Unknown
  • "Love is something eternal, the aspect may change, but not the essence." – Vincent Van Gogh
  • "Woman thinks as she loves, man loves as she thinks." — Paolo Mantegazza
  • "I look at the sky and stare at a star, but as beautiful as it is it will never be like mine … You are mine and I will never leave you again … I love you!"
  • "You are one of those people who meet when life decides to give you a gift." — Charles Dickens
  • "I will be a poet, and you will be poetry." — François Coppée
  • "Your eyes are cisterns that quench my torments." — Charles Baudelaire
  • "The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman we love." — Jean de La Bruyère
  • "I know no other reason to love you than to love you." — Fernando Pessoa
  • "Your eyes make me shy." — Anaïs Nin
  • "I love you the way a drowning man loves air. And it would destroy me to have you just a little." — Rae Carson
  • "Come live in my heart, and pay no rent." — Samuel Lover
  • "Forever is never long enough when it’s spent with you." — Ralph
  • "I will love you truly forever and a day!" — William Rose Benét
  • "Gifts are temporary and often forgotten; love is forever and always remembered." — Ken Poirot
  • "I will love you all my life and when I die, I will still love you through eternity and beyond." — Leann
  • "Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing." — Torquato Tasso
  • "Each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow." — Rosemonde Gerard
  • "To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with." — Mark Twain
  • "Love is a game that two can play and both win." — Eva Gabor
  • "In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine." — Maya Angelou
  • "Love never claims, it ever gives. Love never suffers, never resents, never revenges itself." — Gandhi
  • "Come live in my heart and pay no rent." — Samuel Lover
  • "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." — Mother Teresa
  • "At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet." — Plato
  • "When I look at you, I can feel it. I look at you and I'm home." — Finding Nemo
  • "They invented hugs to let people know you love them without saying anything." — Bil Keane
  • "The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time." — Julia Child
  • "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." — Franklin P. Jones
  • "Sometimes I can't see myself when I'm with you. I can only just see you." — Jodi Lynn Anderson
  • "True love stories never have endings." — Richard Bach
  • "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person." – E. Leventhal
  • "The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind I was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." — Rumi
  • "One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love!" — Sophocles
  • "If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?" — Casper
  • "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." — Lao Tzu
  • "There is no limit to the power of loving." — John Morton
  • "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." — Audrey Hepburn
  • "Stolen kisses are always sweetest." — Leigh Hunt
  • "Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it." — Karl A. Menninger
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